It Just Hurts

So you are driving as hard as you can and are trying to do well. Sometimes you move forward, sometimes back, but it always hurts.

The most important point is to keep moving forward and avoiding people, places, and behaviors that decrease your self-worth. Whatever you need to do that can help you avoid these things must happen. Anyone who compromises this is not your friend. They have their own agenda and you are not at the top of the list. Period. You must be ruthless in this effort, this is not about making ‘friends’ but about rebuilding yourself.

Never make yourself lesser based on someone elses opinion. If you are not harming others or yourself, chances are you should hold your head high.

The past is gone. Let it wither and die. Do not sustain it.

You can and must move forward. No excuses and no fake friends.

Be well, live, laugh, and love.

You Wonder How You Got Here

So your head is in your hands with tears on your face. You are upset about the condition of your life. It happens to everyone. Something has impacted you or perhaps you have caused this pain.

Does the cause truly matter at this point? You cannot change it either way.

What matters is your response. Do you let it beat you down? Do you believe the hate and the painful words and actions? Do you let it control you? Let it, let them win?

No! No! Stand up for yourself, now in this moment make a change. Do not be lesser. For anyone. Respect yourself in that moment and pull your head up. This will pass.

You will beat this and whatever else comes. Dont you dare let it, let them win. Not now, not ever.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Things Evil

We all have our demons. Some are large, some are small. Pride, greed, lust, jealousy, anger, and selfishness all play a part. As real as the food you eat, they exist to push and test you.

You must treat these emotions as physical and evil. The most horrible things start from that small whisper of jealousy or anger. Many times we hear what we want to hear. We are not objective. We fool ourselves. We strive for easy, not for reality.

Confront your demons – call them by name. (Names have great power by the way. More on that another time.). Once you stand face to face and you dont back down. It will hurt especially at first. But once you face what you have created, things get easier.

This is a game that never ends for the vast majority of us. Sometimes the demons are small and weak but many times we have fed them and they have grown. Its high time to starve the demons and feed youself.

Be well. Live, laugh and love.

No False People

Judgemental or not, we assign people to roles in our lives. Its a positive thing in many ways but can be very limiting. What is far worse is to assign importance to people based on role versus who they truly are. Assigning importance this way is dangerous as it creates false people. False people are worse for you than simply being disappointed because you created this fake paradigm for that person and for yourself. This will not end well for anyone involved.

Guard your heart and know that people need to be in your life based upon how they treat you not how you ‘see’ them. Wanting to believe your heart is a beautiful thing. But letting it create an alternate reality is not good. When someone behaves in a fashion that is counter to how you see them the false person should shatter. If not, then you are on a bad path – get off it asap!

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Find your Stu

So lets be clear. Stu doesn’t know about this and I won’t tell him.

So I met Stu at a competition. I had gotten crushed. I was not his student. He came to help me get better in between matches. Two others from his school came to me as well. From that day on, my life changed.

Stu’s demands were simple. Excellence. Nothing less. Put in the time and show respect. Laugh.

So I did. But it was not just competitions. It was every part of my life. I demanded excellence and respect from myself and others. Nothing less.

My life was different. I hurt but had no regrets. I got hammered on the mat and smiled. I gave more than I thought I had. Pressures faded. People changed how they treated me.

Look for your Stu. They are out there. No bullshit people who will respect you once you respect yourself. Keep working hard and look for Stu.

Your life will change too.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Why We Hate

Bad things happen. Sometimes apologies are made and things are corrected, sometimes not. Sometimes there is no apology. And sometimes those responsible have no idea of their actions.

Whichever the cause, the result is resentment and anger. Do we let it pass? Do we forgive and rise? Do we take it out on another? Do we pass it to our closest friends and relatives? We hate because we are taught to hate. We develop pride and ego who conspire to ‘help’ us.

We want to be rid of the pain. Anger and resentment hurt. There is no quick fix.

So the hate persists, it grows like a cancer, and spreads. Is enlightenment the lack of reaction to anger and hate?

So you hate. I hate. What does it get us? In the end? Naught but pain.

So let it go. Bad things happen but what defines us is how we handle it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

You Can’t Fix Them

So you fall in love. They are great, you enjoy each other, and you are good friends. You become serious and maybe move in together or become exclusive or make plans to marry.

Then things arise. Could be small, could be large, but like that pebble in your shoe, you can’t ignore it. You do the right thing – you talk to them. You ask for it to change in a way that works for you. You cannot reach them. You keep trying. You fail.

So what do you do? You try very hard to make it work and it does not. Face it. You can’t fix them. If you lack confidence, ask your friends, etc. if your requests are unusual or harsh. Get some backup. Then….do what you must. You must move on.

You will hurt from this deeply as you wished and wanted soo much more. And if its crazy stupid love, well, hold on for turbulence ahead. But keep going. Never stop.

You have value. You are important. You will be an amazing unique partner to some lucky person. You deserve happiness. No one will ever hand this to you. You must be grateful each day. You must be externally focused. Never lose sight of this. You can’t fix them.