It Just Hurts

So you are driving as hard as you can and are trying to do well. Sometimes you move forward, sometimes back, but it always hurts.

The most important point is to keep moving forward and avoiding people, places, and behaviors that decrease your self-worth. Whatever you need to do that can help you avoid these things must happen. Anyone who compromises this is not your friend. They have their own agenda and you are not at the top of the list. Period. You must be ruthless in this effort, this is not about making ‘friends’ but about rebuilding yourself.

Never make yourself lesser based on someone elses opinion. If you are not harming others or yourself, chances are you should hold your head high.

The past is gone. Let it wither and die. Do not sustain it.

You can and must move forward. No excuses and no fake friends.

Be well, live, laugh, and love.

You Wonder How You Got Here

So your head is in your hands with tears on your face. You are upset about the condition of your life. It happens to everyone. Something has impacted you or perhaps you have caused this pain.

Does the cause truly matter at this point? You cannot change it either way.

What matters is your response. Do you let it beat you down? Do you believe the hate and the painful words and actions? Do you let it control you? Let it, let them win?

No! No! Stand up for yourself, now in this moment make a change. Do not be lesser. For anyone. Respect yourself in that moment and pull your head up. This will pass.

You will beat this and whatever else comes. Dont you dare let it, let them win. Not now, not ever.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

When People Change

You spend copious time and effort on a relationship and somehow it changes. Sometimes for better sometimes for worse. The for better side is easy to handle but the for worse can be painful.

The worst of these is the change in your partner, close friend, or family member. It will happen. Our only true constant is change. Death is a form of change.

How do you handle these changes? Stay who you are at your core. Feed the positive relationships. Starve the negative. Hold the tiller to your course. You will get there but only through work, perseverence, and faith.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love

You Can’t Fix Them

So you fall in love. They are great, you enjoy each other, and you are good friends. You become serious and maybe move in together or become exclusive or make plans to marry.

Then things arise. Could be small, could be large, but like that pebble in your shoe, you can’t ignore it. You do the right thing – you talk to them. You ask for it to change in a way that works for you. You cannot reach them. You keep trying. You fail.

So what do you do? You try very hard to make it work and it does not. Face it. You can’t fix them. If you lack confidence, ask your friends, etc. if your requests are unusual or harsh. Get some backup. Then….do what you must. You must move on.

You will hurt from this deeply as you wished and wanted soo much more. And if its crazy stupid love, well, hold on for turbulence ahead. But keep going. Never stop.

You have value. You are important. You will be an amazing unique partner to some lucky person. You deserve happiness. No one will ever hand this to you. You must be grateful each day. You must be externally focused. Never lose sight of this. You can’t fix them.

When the Pain Shines Through

Sometimes you have to make hard decisions. If you are lucky the people affected are less than or equal to two. Most of the time for most of us (that is definitive) it does not work that way. We hurt others. We fail. We cry. We feel shame, anger, and pain. Shame, anger, and pain become our friends. We are close to them not because we are hugging them but because they are hugging us.

Then it happens after some period of trying – the pain is laid bare to truth. What really happened? What part did I play? How can I avoid this? Can i somehow make this better? That brutal honesty with ourselves is valuable. Every failure involves something of our doing – witting or unwitting. It is part of life.

So what do you do? Learn, accept, forgive – them/it and you, and grow. Get better, not worse. Don’t deny your past, let it fuel your present. Don’t forget how you failed but don’t stop pushing forward.

Pain fades. Scars heal. Protect yourself and those you love first. No one else will. Make the hard choice today and live better tomorrow. You will respect yourself and help the other person in the long term.

When it just feels too much

Life is strange and wonderful. Even at its worst, there is beauty. Sometimes the hardest things create wonderful outcomes.

So today was hard. Maybe its a demon in your head or heart. Maybe its a failed relationship. Maybe you are too weak to fight an addiction. Maybe your body is ravaged by pain. Will these events define you?

Will you do your best to rise above or will you fall to the lowest common denomiator? Will you stand up for yourself and those you love? Or fall? Choose. And choose wisely not easily. Pay the price. Stand proud.

Today is another chance to choose.

So choose.

Persistence

There are gaps in time where things are not possible.  Life intervenes.  We fight the fires that are directly in front of us.  Sometimes it takes time to regroup.  But do yourself this favor on Black Friday – do not ever stop for anyone or anything.  Keep your eye on what is at your core and never settle.  You will start living a life of purpose, of love, of real meaning.  Black Friday and Cyber Monday celebrate the worst of humanity.  Conspicuous consumption on a level that is far beyond anything we need.

We are conditioned to believe its never enough.  Every commercial, every program push an agenda.  Think for yourself starting today.  What is true?  What is right?  What do I really need?  Who do I really need/who demonstrates that they want me?  Not some picture of you, but the real you – warts and all.

Be kind to yourself starting today – live in the real world, as yourself, take only what you need, share what you can, give away all the rest, think of our earth every day, and never, ever stop.

Be well, Live, Laugh, and Love Like Tomorrow is a Long Way Away