Why We Hate

Bad things happen. Sometimes apologies are made and things are corrected, sometimes not. Sometimes there is no apology. And sometimes those responsible have no idea of their actions.

Whichever the cause, the result is resentment and anger. Do we let it pass? Do we forgive and rise? Do we take it out on another? Do we pass it to our closest friends and relatives? We hate because we are taught to hate. We develop pride and ego who conspire to ‘help’ us.

We want to be rid of the pain. Anger and resentment hurt. There is no quick fix.

So the hate persists, it grows like a cancer, and spreads. Is enlightenment the lack of reaction to anger and hate?

So you hate. I hate. What does it get us? In the end? Naught but pain.

So let it go. Bad things happen but what defines us is how we handle it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

You Can’t Fix Them

So you fall in love. They are great, you enjoy each other, and you are good friends. You become serious and maybe move in together or become exclusive or make plans to marry.

Then things arise. Could be small, could be large, but like that pebble in your shoe, you can’t ignore it. You do the right thing – you talk to them. You ask for it to change in a way that works for you. You cannot reach them. You keep trying. You fail.

So what do you do? You try very hard to make it work and it does not. Face it. You can’t fix them. If you lack confidence, ask your friends, etc. if your requests are unusual or harsh. Get some backup. Then….do what you must. You must move on.

You will hurt from this deeply as you wished and wanted soo much more. And if its crazy stupid love, well, hold on for turbulence ahead. But keep going. Never stop.

You have value. You are important. You will be an amazing unique partner to some lucky person. You deserve happiness. No one will ever hand this to you. You must be grateful each day. You must be externally focused. Never lose sight of this. You can’t fix them.

There is That Day

We all have them. The day where the previous night was rough and the following day is simply a continuation. Personal, professional, physical and spiritual its all horrid. You cannot focus and you wonder why you got out of bed.

But you did. And you are out there trying to do your best. You are trying to be kind despite what the world passes to you.

Some call it grace, some courage, some poise or presence. But it exists to some extent in all of us.

Realize what you had the courage to do today. Give yourself credit for what you have done. Get stronger today. Be kind today. If tomorrow never arrives, today will have been a good day.

Where Pain Hits

We all deal with pain – mental, physical, spiritual – and we all bear scars.  Whether you have scars is not important, but whether you have accepted the pain and look on the scar as a tool of growth.  Almost all pain subsides with time so how we deal with the period of pain says a great deal about the person we have become.  And whether we have forgiven so that we can move forward sets us up for personal growth via the freedom we garner by accepting.  We cannot change our past, and learning to let the pain fade and forgive allows us to move on and live today.

This sounds great, but does it really happen?  Yes, it can but only in time.  Give yourself time and space to analyze what is really going on inside of yourself and why you feel as you do.  Once you know these feelings and understand their root, you can then go about moving forward with less emotion.  We all make mistakes, some small, some large.  Whether you stand up for your mistakes and forgive others mistakes really sets your boundaries for where you can go in life and beyond.  There is no real mystery here, but we create such emotion and drama that it magnifies the conflict, both internal and external.

So we have this day to live, laugh, and love.  Will we live through the lens of yesterdays long gone, or will we wipe away the grit of pain and anger and see more clearly both our emotions and actions, but those of others?  Will we let the lens focus on the minutiae or pull back and look at the big picture?  Live your life looking forward to whether you will be proud of these actions in YOUR future.

Live, Laugh, and Love.  Be well.