True Fear

Sometimes you are scared by something/someone that surprises you. The fear passes. Then there is fear that sticks with you, its deep, its cold, it haunts you, and you change behavior because of it.

This second kind of fear needs to be faced head on. It must be dealt with – get help if you need it, but confront it.

Fear is evils greatest weapon. You hesitate, and you question everything. That is exactly where evil wants you. You are pliable in this state. Open to suggestion, you want to be rid of the fear. Its natural.

You stop doing what is right and start doing what is easy. They sometimes intersect.

Take a deep look at your actions – how much does fear drive them? And stop being afraid. Stand up and fight. Everyday and everytime. It will take time but soo worth it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

No False People

Judgemental or not, we assign people to roles in our lives. Its a positive thing in many ways but can be very limiting. What is far worse is to assign importance to people based on role versus who they truly are. Assigning importance this way is dangerous as it creates false people. False people are worse for you than simply being disappointed because you created this fake paradigm for that person and for yourself. This will not end well for anyone involved.

Guard your heart and know that people need to be in your life based upon how they treat you not how you ‘see’ them. Wanting to believe your heart is a beautiful thing. But letting it create an alternate reality is not good. When someone behaves in a fashion that is counter to how you see them the false person should shatter. If not, then you are on a bad path – get off it asap!

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Find your Stu

So lets be clear. Stu doesn’t know about this and I won’t tell him.

So I met Stu at a competition. I had gotten crushed. I was not his student. He came to help me get better in between matches. Two others from his school came to me as well. From that day on, my life changed.

Stu’s demands were simple. Excellence. Nothing less. Put in the time and show respect. Laugh.

So I did. But it was not just competitions. It was every part of my life. I demanded excellence and respect from myself and others. Nothing less.

My life was different. I hurt but had no regrets. I got hammered on the mat and smiled. I gave more than I thought I had. Pressures faded. People changed how they treated me.

Look for your Stu. They are out there. No bullshit people who will respect you once you respect yourself. Keep working hard and look for Stu.

Your life will change too.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Why We Hate

Bad things happen. Sometimes apologies are made and things are corrected, sometimes not. Sometimes there is no apology. And sometimes those responsible have no idea of their actions.

Whichever the cause, the result is resentment and anger. Do we let it pass? Do we forgive and rise? Do we take it out on another? Do we pass it to our closest friends and relatives? We hate because we are taught to hate. We develop pride and ego who conspire to ‘help’ us.

We want to be rid of the pain. Anger and resentment hurt. There is no quick fix.

So the hate persists, it grows like a cancer, and spreads. Is enlightenment the lack of reaction to anger and hate?

So you hate. I hate. What does it get us? In the end? Naught but pain.

So let it go. Bad things happen but what defines us is how we handle it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

When the Pain Shines Through

Sometimes you have to make hard decisions. If you are lucky the people affected are less than or equal to two. Most of the time for most of us (that is definitive) it does not work that way. We hurt others. We fail. We cry. We feel shame, anger, and pain. Shame, anger, and pain become our friends. We are close to them not because we are hugging them but because they are hugging us.

Then it happens after some period of trying – the pain is laid bare to truth. What really happened? What part did I play? How can I avoid this? Can i somehow make this better? That brutal honesty with ourselves is valuable. Every failure involves something of our doing – witting or unwitting. It is part of life.

So what do you do? Learn, accept, forgive – them/it and you, and grow. Get better, not worse. Don’t deny your past, let it fuel your present. Don’t forget how you failed but don’t stop pushing forward.

Pain fades. Scars heal. Protect yourself and those you love first. No one else will. Make the hard choice today and live better tomorrow. You will respect yourself and help the other person in the long term.

When We Fail

We all fail.  We hurt others and disappoint ourselves.  We feel pain and blame ourselves, think less of ourselves, and the downward spiral starts.  We become less worthy in our own eyes and hearts, making us less a part of the ‘good’ in this world.  We deny the best in ourselves and let the ugly take hold.

Today be kind to yourself.  Let the past fade, accept your humanity, and work to do better in each interaction you have.  You will fail.  But acceptance and forgiveness will get you much further than destroying the good in you.

Be well.  Live, Laugh, Love and Move Forward.

Why today matters

There comes a time for everyone when getting motivated is hard.  The goal may even be just to get out of bed.  But think about it – this is all you have. No matter how successful how happy how lucky – today and now is all – it is everything.  Memories are great and hopes and dreams keep us alive but now is the best.  Why?

You can change everything right now.  Good decision = better future.  Bad decision = worse future but to be fair its hard to differentiate good vs bad.  So fo your best face the reality, find the beauty, show gratitude, smile, and laugh.  It is a wonderful life and a true gift.  

Create good memories by living a great now.  Its that simple.  Be well.