The Hard Things

Life is not simple for anyone. We all fight demons, large and small. Some come in the form of people, and some are less obvious. We are all faced with hard decisions and tough consequences. How to make this decision?

Can you sleep that night having made the decision? How about tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Right <> Easy.

This process makes decisions easier. Its still hard and the pain may last for a long time but hopefully you can move past it with your head held high.

And get some sleep along the way. Think hard, be smart, stay true.

Live, laugh, and love.

Why We Hate

Bad things happen. Sometimes apologies are made and things are corrected, sometimes not. Sometimes there is no apology. And sometimes those responsible have no idea of their actions.

Whichever the cause, the result is resentment and anger. Do we let it pass? Do we forgive and rise? Do we take it out on another? Do we pass it to our closest friends and relatives? We hate because we are taught to hate. We develop pride and ego who conspire to ‘help’ us.

We want to be rid of the pain. Anger and resentment hurt. There is no quick fix.

So the hate persists, it grows like a cancer, and spreads. Is enlightenment the lack of reaction to anger and hate?

So you hate. I hate. What does it get us? In the end? Naught but pain.

So let it go. Bad things happen but what defines us is how we handle it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

There is That Day

We all have them. The day where the previous night was rough and the following day is simply a continuation. Personal, professional, physical and spiritual its all horrid. You cannot focus and you wonder why you got out of bed.

But you did. And you are out there trying to do your best. You are trying to be kind despite what the world passes to you.

Some call it grace, some courage, some poise or presence. But it exists to some extent in all of us.

Realize what you had the courage to do today. Give yourself credit for what you have done. Get stronger today. Be kind today. If tomorrow never arrives, today will have been a good day.

When We Fail

We all fail.  We hurt others and disappoint ourselves.  We feel pain and blame ourselves, think less of ourselves, and the downward spiral starts.  We become less worthy in our own eyes and hearts, making us less a part of the ‘good’ in this world.  We deny the best in ourselves and let the ugly take hold.

Today be kind to yourself.  Let the past fade, accept your humanity, and work to do better in each interaction you have.  You will fail.  But acceptance and forgiveness will get you much further than destroying the good in you.

Be well.  Live, Laugh, Love and Move Forward.

Soreness

Sometimes it hurts right away, sometimes it takes time, but we know its coming.  Maybe its just an ache.  Maybe it truly hurts. And the duration is variable. 

So the pain has arrived.  It could be mental, physical, or spiritual. What do we do?

We greet it like an old friend. We live the pain when it feels like its all we have.  We wonder how it came to be – not what caused it – but how pain first started.  Pain is a way of telling you that if you continue doing what you are doing, there will be dire consequences.  So thank you pain. 

Eventually the pain subsides – from healing or death – and we are left with soreness.  Soreness is a reminder of change happening.  (Death is not treated casually here. It is serious but also not to be feared.) so you are sore – now what?

Get through it with every positive tool you have.  Friends, family, activity, kindness, and love. Do not deny the soreness its place. You must transition and soreness is how it happens. 

Realize where you are, why you are there, and if you like it.  If you like it then stay. If you do not like it then change it.  Embrace the pain, welcome soreness, and step into the light and love again.  

Be well. Live, laugh, and love. 

When it hurts the most

We all experience pain of several types and there have been many explanations for the experience.  If you enjoy pain, are you a sadist or simply someone who accepts change as the only real constant in our lives?

Nothing in this world is constant (there are mathematical and science related constants that we will excuse from this discussion), so why do we fight it so much?  In our lives, many of us play from behind in that we constantly prepare for the tomorrow we expect and adapt to the tomorrow we receive.  We need to receive the day, adapt, and accept.  On most days, we can do this but what about on the bad days – when it hurts the most?

Do we retreat from our best, and become less in the face of the adversity?  Or do we step up and become more?  We need to become more.  Our world deserves better than what we give it daily.

How do we do this?  Here is a list that may help.

  1. Slow down – consider both your words and your actions.  What will be the logical outcome of the words and actions?  If it is positive, proceed, but if it is negative, take a new course.
  2. Change how you think – instead of disliking someone for something said or done, ask why are they acting this way?  Can you get a better idea of why they are acting this way, or think of a scenario that would make this their course of action?  This is very hard at first, but after awhile it becomes second nature.  Combined with slowing down, it will give you surprising results
  3. Stop expecting anyone to change – accept who they are, warts and all.  Use this as a foundation upon which your interactions will build.  This does not mean you need to build relationships with negative people, but simply that you understand where they are and can move forward.  Your actions are all you can control and they speak volumes about you, not about them.  You can love deeply flawed people.  That is a good thing, because we are all deeply flawed.

That is it.  Take your time, think about it, change how you interact, accept what you receive and move onward and upward to a better place for everyone.