Why We Hate

Bad things happen. Sometimes apologies are made and things are corrected, sometimes not. Sometimes there is no apology. And sometimes those responsible have no idea of their actions.

Whichever the cause, the result is resentment and anger. Do we let it pass? Do we forgive and rise? Do we take it out on another? Do we pass it to our closest friends and relatives? We hate because we are taught to hate. We develop pride and ego who conspire to ‘help’ us.

We want to be rid of the pain. Anger and resentment hurt. There is no quick fix.

So the hate persists, it grows like a cancer, and spreads. Is enlightenment the lack of reaction to anger and hate?

So you hate. I hate. What does it get us? In the end? Naught but pain.

So let it go. Bad things happen but what defines us is how we handle it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

When it just feels too much

Life is strange and wonderful. Even at its worst, there is beauty. Sometimes the hardest things create wonderful outcomes.

So today was hard. Maybe its a demon in your head or heart. Maybe its a failed relationship. Maybe you are too weak to fight an addiction. Maybe your body is ravaged by pain. Will these events define you?

Will you do your best to rise above or will you fall to the lowest common denomiator? Will you stand up for yourself and those you love? Or fall? Choose. And choose wisely not easily. Pay the price. Stand proud.

Today is another chance to choose.

So choose.

So it is 2018

New Year. New hope. New promises to keep. So we think of things we want to do. We hope and we dream.

But what do we do about it? Not tomorrow, or next week. Today. Now.

Keep your promises to yourself first and then keep promises to others. Set a plan. Get up early and work late. Don’t ever stop.

Will this be easy? Hell no but its the best you got. Work as hard today as you can and hope for another day.

All we really have is now. Use it. Change your life and help others. Dont back off or back down. Fight for what you want because no one else will.

Be well. Work hard. Be kind. Never stop.

Persistence

There are gaps in time where things are not possible.  Life intervenes.  We fight the fires that are directly in front of us.  Sometimes it takes time to regroup.  But do yourself this favor on Black Friday – do not ever stop for anyone or anything.  Keep your eye on what is at your core and never settle.  You will start living a life of purpose, of love, of real meaning.  Black Friday and Cyber Monday celebrate the worst of humanity.  Conspicuous consumption on a level that is far beyond anything we need.

We are conditioned to believe its never enough.  Every commercial, every program push an agenda.  Think for yourself starting today.  What is true?  What is right?  What do I really need?  Who do I really need/who demonstrates that they want me?  Not some picture of you, but the real you – warts and all.

Be kind to yourself starting today – live in the real world, as yourself, take only what you need, share what you can, give away all the rest, think of our earth every day, and never, ever stop.

Be well, Live, Laugh, and Love Like Tomorrow is a Long Way Away

Soreness

Sometimes it hurts right away, sometimes it takes time, but we know its coming.  Maybe its just an ache.  Maybe it truly hurts. And the duration is variable. 

So the pain has arrived.  It could be mental, physical, or spiritual. What do we do?

We greet it like an old friend. We live the pain when it feels like its all we have.  We wonder how it came to be – not what caused it – but how pain first started.  Pain is a way of telling you that if you continue doing what you are doing, there will be dire consequences.  So thank you pain. 

Eventually the pain subsides – from healing or death – and we are left with soreness.  Soreness is a reminder of change happening.  (Death is not treated casually here. It is serious but also not to be feared.) so you are sore – now what?

Get through it with every positive tool you have.  Friends, family, activity, kindness, and love. Do not deny the soreness its place. You must transition and soreness is how it happens. 

Realize where you are, why you are there, and if you like it.  If you like it then stay. If you do not like it then change it.  Embrace the pain, welcome soreness, and step into the light and love again.  

Be well. Live, laugh, and love. 

Those days

We wake up and it already feels wrong.  We try to excuse the feeling, ignore it, shunt it aside.  It sticks with us. 

So here is where things can change.  Do we let it become ‘one of those days’?  Or do we look for the good regardless?  Sometimes it is hard to find the good.  We all struggle with it.  The pain, the shame, the regret, the anger – they all play a part in making us worse off.  How can we fight that?  

Starting small is the best way.  Anyone still six feet above versus six feet below can find a reason.  Maybe its the color of your skin.  The smile that makes people laugh.  The love of your family.  Whatever it takes.  You are fighting a battle. Dont let the negative win.   

You deserve better. Your family deserves better.  All those around you and those you love deserve better.  Look around you and find something beautiful.  

Today is not just a day worth living but a day worth enjoying.  Smile.  You deserve it. 

Life Takes Time

We all make mistakes, some large, some not so large.  We can minimize them, downplay them, and deny them.  But they are always there.  Who we are is defined by how we handle mistakes. 

Do we ask for fogiveness?  Say we regret the mistake?  Say I am sorry?  What truly needs to happen is to change place mentally with the person you offended and find out what hurts the most. Then go and address these issues quickly and with sincerity.  If they forgive you great but if not then let it and them go.  

This is truly about letting it go and forgiving yourself.  Its easier to ask forgiveness than to forgive.  This is true in our external and internal interactions.  The internal is far harder.  We relive moments, see the pain we cause and know we must do better.  Some among us possess a grace that allows them to realize their humanity and move on.  Some of us never see the pain we cause and are oblivious.  Some know the pain they cause and enjoy inflicting it.  And then some know and see the pain they cause and want to make it better.  It is to the latter group that this message falls.  

First, realize your shortcomings.  Certain people,places, and things create negative situations for us. Avoid them all. Do whatever it takes.  Cause no harm but make the change to avoid having to bear the scars later.  Second, the mistake happens and you make it right with the other person.  Third, allow yourself the anger, the shame, the disappointment.   Then work on getting better.  Be especially nice to strangers and nicer to your friends.  Go out of your way for others.  Then go and he nice to yourself. You allow yourself forgiveness when you believe you deserve it.  And not before. 

That is all you can do.  Give yourself time to fix it.  Life takes time.