No False People

Judgemental or not, we assign people to roles in our lives. Its a positive thing in many ways but can be very limiting. What is far worse is to assign importance to people based on role versus who they truly are. Assigning importance this way is dangerous as it creates false people. False people are worse for you than simply being disappointed because you created this fake paradigm for that person and for yourself. This will not end well for anyone involved.

Guard your heart and know that people need to be in your life based upon how they treat you not how you ‘see’ them. Wanting to believe your heart is a beautiful thing. But letting it create an alternate reality is not good. When someone behaves in a fashion that is counter to how you see them the false person should shatter. If not, then you are on a bad path – get off it asap!

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Why We Hate

Bad things happen. Sometimes apologies are made and things are corrected, sometimes not. Sometimes there is no apology. And sometimes those responsible have no idea of their actions.

Whichever the cause, the result is resentment and anger. Do we let it pass? Do we forgive and rise? Do we take it out on another? Do we pass it to our closest friends and relatives? We hate because we are taught to hate. We develop pride and ego who conspire to ‘help’ us.

We want to be rid of the pain. Anger and resentment hurt. There is no quick fix.

So the hate persists, it grows like a cancer, and spreads. Is enlightenment the lack of reaction to anger and hate?

So you hate. I hate. What does it get us? In the end? Naught but pain.

So let it go. Bad things happen but what defines us is how we handle it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

You Can’t Fix Them

So you fall in love. They are great, you enjoy each other, and you are good friends. You become serious and maybe move in together or become exclusive or make plans to marry.

Then things arise. Could be small, could be large, but like that pebble in your shoe, you can’t ignore it. You do the right thing – you talk to them. You ask for it to change in a way that works for you. You cannot reach them. You keep trying. You fail.

So what do you do? You try very hard to make it work and it does not. Face it. You can’t fix them. If you lack confidence, ask your friends, etc. if your requests are unusual or harsh. Get some backup. Then….do what you must. You must move on.

You will hurt from this deeply as you wished and wanted soo much more. And if its crazy stupid love, well, hold on for turbulence ahead. But keep going. Never stop.

You have value. You are important. You will be an amazing unique partner to some lucky person. You deserve happiness. No one will ever hand this to you. You must be grateful each day. You must be externally focused. Never lose sight of this. You can’t fix them.

When it just feels too much

Life is strange and wonderful. Even at its worst, there is beauty. Sometimes the hardest things create wonderful outcomes.

So today was hard. Maybe its a demon in your head or heart. Maybe its a failed relationship. Maybe you are too weak to fight an addiction. Maybe your body is ravaged by pain. Will these events define you?

Will you do your best to rise above or will you fall to the lowest common denomiator? Will you stand up for yourself and those you love? Or fall? Choose. And choose wisely not easily. Pay the price. Stand proud.

Today is another chance to choose.

So choose.

Why today matters

There comes a time for everyone when getting motivated is hard.  The goal may even be just to get out of bed.  But think about it – this is all you have. No matter how successful how happy how lucky – today and now is all – it is everything.  Memories are great and hopes and dreams keep us alive but now is the best.  Why?

You can change everything right now.  Good decision = better future.  Bad decision = worse future but to be fair its hard to differentiate good vs bad.  So fo your best face the reality, find the beauty, show gratitude, smile, and laugh.  It is a wonderful life and a true gift.  

Create good memories by living a great now.  Its that simple.  Be well. 

Soreness

Sometimes it hurts right away, sometimes it takes time, but we know its coming.  Maybe its just an ache.  Maybe it truly hurts. And the duration is variable. 

So the pain has arrived.  It could be mental, physical, or spiritual. What do we do?

We greet it like an old friend. We live the pain when it feels like its all we have.  We wonder how it came to be – not what caused it – but how pain first started.  Pain is a way of telling you that if you continue doing what you are doing, there will be dire consequences.  So thank you pain. 

Eventually the pain subsides – from healing or death – and we are left with soreness.  Soreness is a reminder of change happening.  (Death is not treated casually here. It is serious but also not to be feared.) so you are sore – now what?

Get through it with every positive tool you have.  Friends, family, activity, kindness, and love. Do not deny the soreness its place. You must transition and soreness is how it happens. 

Realize where you are, why you are there, and if you like it.  If you like it then stay. If you do not like it then change it.  Embrace the pain, welcome soreness, and step into the light and love again.  

Be well. Live, laugh, and love. 

Those days

We wake up and it already feels wrong.  We try to excuse the feeling, ignore it, shunt it aside.  It sticks with us. 

So here is where things can change.  Do we let it become ‘one of those days’?  Or do we look for the good regardless?  Sometimes it is hard to find the good.  We all struggle with it.  The pain, the shame, the regret, the anger – they all play a part in making us worse off.  How can we fight that?  

Starting small is the best way.  Anyone still six feet above versus six feet below can find a reason.  Maybe its the color of your skin.  The smile that makes people laugh.  The love of your family.  Whatever it takes.  You are fighting a battle. Dont let the negative win.   

You deserve better. Your family deserves better.  All those around you and those you love deserve better.  Look around you and find something beautiful.  

Today is not just a day worth living but a day worth enjoying.  Smile.  You deserve it.