It Just Hurts

So you are driving as hard as you can and are trying to do well. Sometimes you move forward, sometimes back, but it always hurts.

The most important point is to keep moving forward and avoiding people, places, and behaviors that decrease your self-worth. Whatever you need to do that can help you avoid these things must happen. Anyone who compromises this is not your friend. They have their own agenda and you are not at the top of the list. Period. You must be ruthless in this effort, this is not about making ‘friends’ but about rebuilding yourself.

Never make yourself lesser based on someone elses opinion. If you are not harming others or yourself, chances are you should hold your head high.

The past is gone. Let it wither and die. Do not sustain it.

You can and must move forward. No excuses and no fake friends.

Be well, live, laugh, and love.

When is Sorry Too Late?

Everyone has received the apology that seems too late. When is too late really too late?

First, is the apology conditional? ‘I am sorry, but…’. If so, not an apology – too late.

Second, is this one of a string of apologies with no change in behavior? Too late.

Third, is the apology followed with other issues/demands? Too late.

All of these are too late. Move on. You can and should eventually forgive. But don’t forget.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

True Fear

Sometimes you are scared by something/someone that surprises you. The fear passes. Then there is fear that sticks with you, its deep, its cold, it haunts you, and you change behavior because of it.

This second kind of fear needs to be faced head on. It must be dealt with – get help if you need it, but confront it.

Fear is evils greatest weapon. You hesitate, and you question everything. That is exactly where evil wants you. You are pliable in this state. Open to suggestion, you want to be rid of the fear. Its natural.

You stop doing what is right and start doing what is easy. They sometimes intersect.

Take a deep look at your actions – how much does fear drive them? And stop being afraid. Stand up and fight. Everyday and everytime. It will take time but soo worth it.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

How You Fight Defines How You Live

No matter who you are, your demons will come for you and when they do, will you be ready? Have you asked yourself the easiest way to manipulate you – what are your weaknesses? What are the words that would touch you/haunt you/scare you? What are the actions of others that bother you most? What are your deepest fears?

So if you want to be ready, start facing them right now. Ask yourself the questions – do things that bother you – interact with people that bother you. Build a thicker skin. Words are words. Actions always mean more and are harder to resist.

You must start today and start small – but start.

The stress of regular life diminishes as you face down your fears.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Things Evil

We all have our demons. Some are large, some are small. Pride, greed, lust, jealousy, anger, and selfishness all play a part. As real as the food you eat, they exist to push and test you.

You must treat these emotions as physical and evil. The most horrible things start from that small whisper of jealousy or anger. Many times we hear what we want to hear. We are not objective. We fool ourselves. We strive for easy, not for reality.

Confront your demons – call them by name. (Names have great power by the way. More on that another time.). Once you stand face to face and you dont back down. It will hurt especially at first. But once you face what you have created, things get easier.

This is a game that never ends for the vast majority of us. Sometimes the demons are small and weak but many times we have fed them and they have grown. Its high time to starve the demons and feed youself.

Be well. Live, laugh and love.

No False People

Judgemental or not, we assign people to roles in our lives. Its a positive thing in many ways but can be very limiting. What is far worse is to assign importance to people based on role versus who they truly are. Assigning importance this way is dangerous as it creates false people. False people are worse for you than simply being disappointed because you created this fake paradigm for that person and for yourself. This will not end well for anyone involved.

Guard your heart and know that people need to be in your life based upon how they treat you not how you ‘see’ them. Wanting to believe your heart is a beautiful thing. But letting it create an alternate reality is not good. When someone behaves in a fashion that is counter to how you see them the false person should shatter. If not, then you are on a bad path – get off it asap!

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

Find your Stu

So lets be clear. Stu doesn’t know about this and I won’t tell him.

So I met Stu at a competition. I had gotten crushed. I was not his student. He came to help me get better in between matches. Two others from his school came to me as well. From that day on, my life changed.

Stu’s demands were simple. Excellence. Nothing less. Put in the time and show respect. Laugh.

So I did. But it was not just competitions. It was every part of my life. I demanded excellence and respect from myself and others. Nothing less.

My life was different. I hurt but had no regrets. I got hammered on the mat and smiled. I gave more than I thought I had. Pressures faded. People changed how they treated me.

Look for your Stu. They are out there. No bullshit people who will respect you once you respect yourself. Keep working hard and look for Stu.

Your life will change too.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.