You Wonder How You Got Here

So your head is in your hands with tears on your face. You are upset about the condition of your life. It happens to everyone. Something has impacted you or perhaps you have caused this pain.

Does the cause truly matter at this point? You cannot change it either way.

What matters is your response. Do you let it beat you down? Do you believe the hate and the painful words and actions? Do you let it control you? Let it, let them win?

No! No! Stand up for yourself, now in this moment make a change. Do not be lesser. For anyone. Respect yourself in that moment and pull your head up. This will pass.

You will beat this and whatever else comes. Dont you dare let it, let them win. Not now, not ever.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love.

The Hard Things

Life is not simple for anyone. We all fight demons, large and small. Some come in the form of people, and some are less obvious. We are all faced with hard decisions and tough consequences. How to make this decision?

Can you sleep that night having made the decision? How about tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Right <> Easy.

This process makes decisions easier. Its still hard and the pain may last for a long time but hopefully you can move past it with your head held high.

And get some sleep along the way. Think hard, be smart, stay true.

Live, laugh, and love.

When People Change

You spend copious time and effort on a relationship and somehow it changes. Sometimes for better sometimes for worse. The for better side is easy to handle but the for worse can be painful.

The worst of these is the change in your partner, close friend, or family member. It will happen. Our only true constant is change. Death is a form of change.

How do you handle these changes? Stay who you are at your core. Feed the positive relationships. Starve the negative. Hold the tiller to your course. You will get there but only through work, perseverence, and faith.

Be well. Live, laugh, and love

There is That Day

We all have them. The day where the previous night was rough and the following day is simply a continuation. Personal, professional, physical and spiritual its all horrid. You cannot focus and you wonder why you got out of bed.

But you did. And you are out there trying to do your best. You are trying to be kind despite what the world passes to you.

Some call it grace, some courage, some poise or presence. But it exists to some extent in all of us.

Realize what you had the courage to do today. Give yourself credit for what you have done. Get stronger today. Be kind today. If tomorrow never arrives, today will have been a good day.

Persistence

There are gaps in time where things are not possible.  Life intervenes.  We fight the fires that are directly in front of us.  Sometimes it takes time to regroup.  But do yourself this favor on Black Friday – do not ever stop for anyone or anything.  Keep your eye on what is at your core and never settle.  You will start living a life of purpose, of love, of real meaning.  Black Friday and Cyber Monday celebrate the worst of humanity.  Conspicuous consumption on a level that is far beyond anything we need.

We are conditioned to believe its never enough.  Every commercial, every program push an agenda.  Think for yourself starting today.  What is true?  What is right?  What do I really need?  Who do I really need/who demonstrates that they want me?  Not some picture of you, but the real you – warts and all.

Be kind to yourself starting today – live in the real world, as yourself, take only what you need, share what you can, give away all the rest, think of our earth every day, and never, ever stop.

Be well, Live, Laugh, and Love Like Tomorrow is a Long Way Away

Those days

We wake up and it already feels wrong.  We try to excuse the feeling, ignore it, shunt it aside.  It sticks with us. 

So here is where things can change.  Do we let it become ‘one of those days’?  Or do we look for the good regardless?  Sometimes it is hard to find the good.  We all struggle with it.  The pain, the shame, the regret, the anger – they all play a part in making us worse off.  How can we fight that?  

Starting small is the best way.  Anyone still six feet above versus six feet below can find a reason.  Maybe its the color of your skin.  The smile that makes people laugh.  The love of your family.  Whatever it takes.  You are fighting a battle. Dont let the negative win.   

You deserve better. Your family deserves better.  All those around you and those you love deserve better.  Look around you and find something beautiful.  

Today is not just a day worth living but a day worth enjoying.  Smile.  You deserve it. 

Life Takes Time

We all make mistakes, some large, some not so large.  We can minimize them, downplay them, and deny them.  But they are always there.  Who we are is defined by how we handle mistakes. 

Do we ask for fogiveness?  Say we regret the mistake?  Say I am sorry?  What truly needs to happen is to change place mentally with the person you offended and find out what hurts the most. Then go and address these issues quickly and with sincerity.  If they forgive you great but if not then let it and them go.  

This is truly about letting it go and forgiving yourself.  Its easier to ask forgiveness than to forgive.  This is true in our external and internal interactions.  The internal is far harder.  We relive moments, see the pain we cause and know we must do better.  Some among us possess a grace that allows them to realize their humanity and move on.  Some of us never see the pain we cause and are oblivious.  Some know the pain they cause and enjoy inflicting it.  And then some know and see the pain they cause and want to make it better.  It is to the latter group that this message falls.  

First, realize your shortcomings.  Certain people,places, and things create negative situations for us. Avoid them all. Do whatever it takes.  Cause no harm but make the change to avoid having to bear the scars later.  Second, the mistake happens and you make it right with the other person.  Third, allow yourself the anger, the shame, the disappointment.   Then work on getting better.  Be especially nice to strangers and nicer to your friends.  Go out of your way for others.  Then go and he nice to yourself. You allow yourself forgiveness when you believe you deserve it.  And not before. 

That is all you can do.  Give yourself time to fix it.  Life takes time.