When Its Right but We Feel Wrong

We all experience conflict from those that truly love us.  Sometimes the conflict is our fault, sometimes it is not.  When you are picking up the pieces of your life, do not expect that everyone will support you.  They will not.  And for various reasons – how you handle this is entirely up to you.  One thing that does become more apparent is who really wants to be in your life and who does not.  This is not a bad thing.  Just like a forest fire clears the way for the strongest trees to continue to thrive, these internal fires can burn off the relationships that are marginal or weak.

As part of this process, decisions will be made and the responses you receive will surprise you because many of us have a false sense of our real place within our friends and relative’s lives.  Many may disagree with a decision you know is right.  What you can do is to help them understand your position, but what you cannot do is to backtrack on the right decision.  That will lead you back to the dark place you have worked so hard to leave in your past.

Know also that if you have the courage to confront your friends and family about your relative position in their lives being incorrect, you will receive conflict in return.  Relationships, especially older ones, are based on expectations of behavior derived from past interactions.  Once your response changes, conflict ensues as you have shown courage to change.  This is a good thing.  Let their anger flow by you, feel its power and passion, and smile knowing you did not cause this, but they did by their actions during your relationship.  All you are doing is setting things right and they need to adjust or become a lesser part of your life.

To be clear, this is to correct relationships that are unbalanced or even negative/evil.  You know in your heart which relationships are positive and which are negative.  Gather your courage and have the talk, write the email.  Be reasonable but unyielding.  You are fighting for your freedom, your right to be happy and fully alive without interference.  Its a fight worth the pain.  It will take weeks, months, maybe years for the battle to end, but you will get stronger along the way and the conflict becomes less difficult for you.

Think of your relationships, evaluate them, try to change the bad, feed the good, and move forward.

Be well.  Live, Laugh, and Love Always.  r

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